Blog-TOWER OF BABEL

I have been on 6 trips in 5 days. How? you ask. 

5 day Tortola, 4 days Jamaica, 4 days super bowl, 4 days Vancouver. 

all cancelled. I am using my passport as a coaster. I feel like I am suck in a permanent dress rehearsal. 

My warm weather and cold weather suitcase lay confused in my car. magazines , lemons, lime and milk bought but not consumed. You are on, you are  off, you are on standby, you are going, you are not going. Owner wants the a/c, no flight attendant, you are not on the overflight, they want a male, they want a yoga instructor, do you know magic tricks, they want mandarin speakers, they want vegan chef, they do not want me.

I am up, I am down, I am still on the ground. I just need a takeoff and a landing, with whatever in between. I will speak in devils tongue, just get me GOING. My son keeps finding me at home, looking a bit scruffy, bewildered and lack luster. He will eat those lemons for dinner. I will throw the milk at that wall i have been staring at for 1 month. I do not even know how to pack anymore. 

I forgot shoes, the most important part of a together outfit. I did reap 2 cancellation fees for my efforts, I will go buy  25 cupcakes with the money and eat them all while I again, watch OPRAH and DR PHIL. I am going to burn my blue and white cloud bathrobe that my mom gave me 8 years ago. It could stand up in the corner by itself by now. 

My unemployed look is.. blue cloud bathrobe, white socks, hair akimbo, raccoon eyes, rainforest expresso coffee with vanilla creamer, pen over my ear, trips sheets all over the desk, glasses, phone in said robes pocket, and maybe a hammer (you never know when you will need one). The dog looks at me in hope of WALK? 

I look at my dog and say FLY? My cat, who is alway on my bed (get a job, cat), looks at me, and thinks "what a loser, come on, take a nap with me." I will never complain again about having a full-time job. I looked in the New Haven newspaper, in the want ads, and where there was 4 pages of ads, now, there is one column. HVAC technician? Surgical nurse? Hospice care? Let Yale University experiment on you? possibly. Spinal Tap test 400.00,????? yeah . Buddy Acne patient. paid study? 

All I say is next week will be better. It better be. 

Dear Blog,

I am hooked on something i never thought I would like. I would poke fun at people for doing it. They do it in the street, they do it everywhere. I love running now. Who knew? i dropped the cigarettes, the gallon of expresso, meat, chips, cake frosting at midnight, frozen peanut butter cups and I crave spinach, tomatoes, tuna, yogurt, MonaVie EMV, green tea lattes. I never felt better. My doc told me all my cholesterol numbers were way high in october. i was set for a stroke.

I am six feet tall 140 pounds, how could it be? no cardio exercise and giving into treats that would make Oprah blush. I would always go to the gym, but i would look at the cardio machines in fear. I have not lost a pound, i do not need to lose weight. I have lost inches. My waist was 29, now it is 27. My pants are the indicators of fitness. There is "give room" in my jeans were the giggly butt was. I sleep and snore like a truck driver. no more sleep aids. I am calm. I have gotten rid of a lot of extra nonsense in my life. I feel strong and light on my feet. It is my drug of choice. I am going to go do it now.

I have been reading about Oprah and her crew. If you have a pulse, you must have heard. Corrine , the f/a in question, who i have spoken with in the past, was accused of having sex with the chief pilot, Terry, WHILE CREW CHANGING, DURING A REFUELING STOP SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD. Both were fired.

 

Now, anyone who has had a crew change and refuel, know it is sheer chaos. There is not even enough room or time to even adjust ones panty hose. Catering is being shoved everywhere, there are a lot of the usual clothed bodies, and if I just did 14 hours, the last thing I would want to do is MORE service to crew or passenger. I think it is preposterous and unless you are part of Philobus or Cirque de Soliel, it is impossible. 

Corrine filed a lawsuit not demanding much maybe a years salary, and she in now infamous. What are the character traits of her accusers? We do not know. Even if Brad Pitt or Clive Owen were on the aircraft  my knickers would not defy gravity until I was far, far away from said aircraft. Any thoughts?