Blog-TOWER OF BABEL

Mothers Day

 

I pondered Mothers Day. I found a full geared up pocket book - travel bag filled with all things from my single non-encumbered life prior to marriage and my son. Things change, it was a blast from the past and did put a smile on my face. Here were the contents minus that 50 dollar bill I lost in 1995.

 

5 types of lip gloss flavors

Tickets stubs to an Aerosmith concert

Blue nail polish

My paper Filofax

Cigarettes in a gold 1950s compact holder

Binaca

Opium perfume (ugh)

Mens phone numbers

Cassette of some awful rock band- unnamed

Clippings from classifieds of bar jobs and vintage jewelry

Photo of me and a friend at toads place- a bar of no return

Vivarin

Vitamin C energy tabs with some weird chinese herbs to keep you awake.

1 wedding invite from 1995

Good and Plenty - 4 loose one all pink

Aerobics class schedule- with head band

Ticket stub to NYC sat 1145 p.m.. late train

"Redheaded Stepchild" antiques store business cards - me being to owner

Old trip sheets

Sea glass

Birth control pills

Tanning spray

Vegetarian times magazine

Casmo

Pager and charger

Pair of size 27 - 32 jeans

Phone numbers of old flight departments.

Now in my bag I have

Food coupons

Bacitracin

Advil

Band-Aids with skate boards on them

Comb for ben hairbrush for me

Concealer,- pinkish lipstick

Library card

GameStop receipts

Tube sock coupon

Walmart receipts

DEET (bug spray - I never went outside prior to ben)

Sunblock 50

2 Books- one spiritual, one funny

Beach pebbles

Poop bag for dog

Cat food coupons

To do list

School calendar

Dental floss, tooth paste and brush

Hair gel for Ben

Yoga schedule

Red bull

Unscented hand cream

Tweezers

Vogue

Magazines

Shape magazine

Touch up hair color

Cell phone

Pair of 30- 34 jeans

Spanx

more Spanx

Book of hormones

When did I get so dependable? Where did the time go? Do I still have an adult fun factor? Will I ever get that the joie de vivre back? Who put all those things in my travel bags?

Motherhood changes a person. It take you out of yourself and puts finally - the spotlight on someone else whom you take a bullet for, without question. I was getting bored with being in my one spotlight. It was time to surrender. If I did not have Ben, there would have been no mothers day. I would not have this beautiful locket and the hand made card with the watercolor flowers and toaster waffles with weak coffee and tang.

I have a question, “When corporate flight attendants go to retreat, how much stuff are we going to bring with us?”

I just did a big move - my past address, I lived there for 6 years, I am a pack rat. I had 7 flight safety books, and general operating manuals for 8 companies. I had all my old diplomas, all my old NBAA stuff, swag acquired from days gone by from flight attendant conventions, 17 sets of wings, a whole slew of catering menus , some that have closed their doors, uniforms from air force one, my flight suit, combat jump boots. Am i opening up a museum? feels like it. Why do we hang on the aviation memorabilia? Does each and everything means something sentimental? beats me. 

But we save it all until we get to the gates of heaven or hell, where ever you make that emergency landing.

I was wondering why I was weighing 20 lbs more than usual. I mean luggage and purse wise. I fly only international. I would be in shock if I flew less than 10 hours per flight. Anyway, I digress. My bags were getting heavier and heavier.

I finally went through everything on a rainy day in London. I had 35 Euro coins from Greece, 78 business cards from FBOs, from faceless crewmembers met in the concierge lounge or on check in, 2 bottles of olive oil left in the false bottom of my suitcase, 2 jars Greek honey, 6 hair conditioners from the maids cart in Milan, 12 Starbucks Coffee receipts for Quattro espressos, 3 retainer cases,(I only have 1 set of teeth), 4 phone chargers for the same phone, 2 -220 converters, 2 Greek adapters,  1 empty sleeve of 5 gum, 3 books that I have read already, 1 self help CD (that did not work), 2 lighters, 3 ChapStick®, 2 empty jars of La Mer, 1 key chain that spells out Santorini in little shells, 1 small flashlight with NO battery, 12 loose spearmint lifesavers with stuff suck to them and an empty bottle of Listerine.

What was I doing while packing? I was on the phone to caterers, universal, hotels, limo drivers, and my son. I need to downsize or join a pack rat version of AA. I think I need everything. What if the converter breaks? Or the charger? What is my excuse for errant lifesavers? How did I forget the olive oil and honey? I have actually packed for a 21 day trip, but packed NO SHOES. A flight attendant with no shoes? Yes, I am that girl. I had to borrow the pilot’s loafers, and yes, they were a bit small. I wear a TEN.

We have no concentration for ourselves before a trip. Our brains are frenetically overloaded with TRIP TRIVIA. I am getting an intervention for this soon.

So, I recently flew on a Challenger 604 out of Bedford MA. This aircraft flies 450 hours of charter and 150 hour part 91. This aircraft flies without a flight attendant for 91 trips so I showed up 2 hours prior to clear the aircraft of debris for an 8 passenger trip to Malaga, Spain.

I removed 23 baskets of various sizes, 15 silver trays, 43 small ramekins’, 40 plastic ware rollups from caterers, 30 sugar packets, 24 bottles of diet raspberry Snapple, 10 small cans of Clamato-juice (do they still sell that? and if so, where?), 13 bottles of Red Stripe Beer for Jamaica, 4 large bags of Beef Jerky (BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU WILL NEED THAT MUCH SALT), 12 cans of Mountain Dew, 10 waters with Arabic writing, 25 little jams, 17 extra mayonnaise. You get the drift.

Unless my passengers are going to eat some really weird condiments, there is no need for all of this. It becomes a hindrance, and sometimes a safety hazard. Much of what I mentioned was near safety equipment. It is not the pilots fault; it is just a general "gunk of stock" from many cabin crews, getting on and off. If the 91 owner does not use this stuff, it would be best to take it off and put it in the hangar. Trying to work around all this excess can only slow down a meal service and hinder your sanity and need for order.