Blog-TOWER OF BABEL

I was busier than a one armed paper hangar for Jan - Jun, averaging 16 days per month (do not ask me where that money went). Now, there is only sagebrush in my bank account, fumes and dust from days gone by. I cannot even get arrested and if I did, I would have scrappy nails and roots, due to the choice of grocery over beauty and its monthly price. I now call people I have never met in flight departments and tell them my days free. I throw a few days in for myself so they do not think that I am a total loser. It does not help that Obama, who I VOTED FOR, rambles on and on about corporate jet tax. I can see corporate jets lining up in a sidewalk sale, a 2 for 1, hanging upside down on a metal rack, because they simply..... went out of season.

Where are we going to end up? A temp job assignment and maybe the a/c is going to sold, already is for sale, there is a lien on it, or the company has not paid its bills, or the pilots are controlling maniacs, or the last flight attendant went insane. I cannot blame him or her in this arena. Flying used to be so NORMAL, no backstabbing tolerated, if so, you were fired. Now, they get promoted for the stabbing. How do you know where a job called HOME could be? I thought flying would always be there for me, now I do not know if I can be there for it. Can I ever understand how this muck and mire happened?

How did it get to this final dead end? Has our integrity gone missing?Can I find mine on a milk carton? Half these flight departments, have someone missing the sensitivity chip, the one who was cagey enough to survive all the layoffs. You, have to kiss their -----, but at what price can you stand yourself?
 

I have had 2 trips cancel. I flew last on 4 jan. I have become neurotic again. This usually takes 3 weeks of indolence. My thoughts become severely distorted. I look at lawn mover sheds, and think that will be my potential house if I do not get a job. I clip coupons, and resentfully surrender them at checkout. I am afraid my teeth are going to fall out. I think about Ben's college fund, it is half empty. He will have to marry rich, invent something, join the military (he is a peace loving baby), sell a kidney, or model for Calvin Klein. wait tables and live under a bridge.All this happens in one sleepless night. I wake up, heart pounding, shaking and stressed. Why do I do this to myself? no clue.