Blog-TOWER OF BABEL

I am afraid to ask how everyone is doing in aviation. A lot of checking in with people - is really asking how their job is. That all seems so tentative - like skating on thin ice. I like to avoid family secrets, bad news, unemployment and loss of any sort. It is getting to a point in my life, that flying can no longer define who I am and what I am about. I am really disengaging -flying, it is like taking off a wet bathing suit. When something wears me out to the point of non-recognition, I take a break from it and it is taking a break from me. I get the pink slip on Monday. Pink slip, why do they call it that? Anyone know? Should be grey slip to match the New England sky.

 

So this is what I am about without flights.

I like happy hour

I can make all family functions

I know what is in my fridge.

I keep medical appointments.

I answer the phone.

I go to Costco, not in a rush anymore.

I can remember birthdays.

I attend weddings.

I am a member of a book club.

I now know five more people in my town who are not in aviation.

I can attend sales.

I can show up for job interviews.

I can volunteer at the church and work in the food bank.

I have finished 4 books.

My front porch is swept.

My son is not a juvenile delinquent yet.

He actually wears fresh socks every day, cuz I had other suspicions.

I make my root coloring appt.

I have nail fill on time.

I do not miss it right now, but check in with me in 6 weeks.

I just finished flight safety in Teterboro, NJ. I was thinking of how FlightSafety can prepare you for the next year. Brace, Brace, Brace, Evacuate comes this way, Follow my voice, come to the light. Can I face the economic mess, shrinking 401K, possible layoff and do an emergency? I dunno. I dunno.

I was wondering how much I could get for a kidney? I do not need it, but I think the 80’s may have ruined my chances. Maybe it is spoiled by now. I upped my life insurance policies because the way I am driving lately. I may need this as well. I have a affliction for strays; people, dogs, cats, birds, ex husbands and ex boyfriends, excommunicated family members.

But I cannot afford them now. I have to say no more than yes. Sounds like marriage. I am sad, angry is gone, resignation has come to sit and possible become a boarder. Gone are the pedicures, the botox, the giving to the police department for bullet proof vest. Can anything protect us?

Our mood during the recession and the onslaught of the holidays. I hang on to my son’s innocence, the boy smell in his tussled brown hair. I hang on his dirty socks too long before I toss them into the wash. When I get stressed and sad, I bake. I have 2 carrot cakes, 1 lemon coconut cake, one pumpkin bread, 1 sheet of caramel brownies, 1 sour cram cinnamon bundt and orphaned partially eaten oatmeal cookie laid a limbo.

When friends come over and peek into the 9 X 12 kitchen, the whisper, “she is having a bad day, let’s forage”.  My day trading, over, substituted for shopping for cheap antiques on craigslist. My ace in my back pocket is gone right now.