Blog-TOWER OF BABEL

If you are freelance and you are trying to get a trio out of companies A, B, and C, this is what you do not do:

1.     (I was a scheduler for 6 months), do not call at the crack of business dawn on Monday morning. Dispatchers and schedulers are groggy from only having 2 days to do everything in their personal and private lives. Monday is not a great day to call. Tuesday, after lunch around 2 pm would be great.

2.     Do not demand a trip! Do not tell them you are overextended on your American Express bill or that you cannot afford teeth. It is off putting. Being broke is a private matter between you and the repo man. If you do not own the plane, we all know, yes.... you are broke most likely.

3.     Thursday is a great day to call, to put a bug in their ear as this will give them your availability for the weekend. Lots of charter gets closed and signed by 230 pm on Friday.

4.     Keep your cell on and try not to go scuba diving, floatation tanks are out, taking that long drive down a country road with no cell tower, horseback riding, being at happy hour with free tequila shots with your cell in a bowl of nachos, or not picking up the call because you are on the other line to the psychic network. Believe me, I have done all these.

5.     Having your own website with flashing neon, and fly songs, with a photo in some bridesmaid dress is a bit over the top. It is all a matter of taste or lack thereof.

6.     Try to maintain a relationship with these people; they answer the phone all day long. Remembering what college their kids go to may help. Talking gossip, divorce, pestilence and who is in and who is out is no good.

 

That is all I have today.

The economy is on a scale from 1-10, a mere 3. I was thinking of the companies that own private jets and their success would be based on what they are selling. Banking in down, drug companies are down, insurance down. Real estate development in down, and IPOs well, that is few and far between. The price of jet fuel is $6 to $10 a gallon. This has not affected me yet, I work for a great family who in shipping of oil, dry goods, grain, etc. But my heart really goes out to the freelancers, things have dried up. You may think "oh, these people own a corporate jet they are rich enough to always fly at the drop of a hat". Not true. Many of these companies using smaller jets like Bombardier Learjet, Hawker and Beechcraft airplanes, or they are sending them out on commercial airlines. So what are you going to do to put bread on the table, get a second job? Do catering, bartend, substitute teaches if you have a degree? In this business, you have to be resourceful, especially if you are freelance. I really feel for you all.

How many have you missed due to the aviation animal? I have too many to count. But I tried to make up for it by planning another day that I absolutely had off. The 4th of July is a date that I, for some unknown reason would never fly on. So I would plan something especially for my mom and myself. I would show up early and do the breakfast in bed thing, with fresh flowers and do her nails and makeup.

 

But the mom’s days that I missed, I would send a singing telegram (my mother loves show tunes), one year it was a Scotland terrier puppy, one year it was Crème brûlée, (her favorite – for 1 month). One year, I sent her an Air Force video for the crew of a C-9, all saying Happy Mother’s Day, Mrs. Dwyer. Of all the days not to forget, do not leave this day as a normal day. You may be banished to some remote place, cut out of the will or even worse, never get that homemade apple pie ever again. 

So Mom, Happy Mothers' Day to you!

What to do about standbydays? How doth one get paid and come to an agreement with the vendor?

So, I was asked to do 14 standby days for a company out in CA, and they made iteasy for me. They faxed me a form. On this form, I promised to love, honor andobey my standby days for 400.00 per day. I flew 4 of the 14 days, and did nottake any work, did not drink, I just waited with my bag packed and uniform intow. I had to turn down other trips. I was unavailable.

 

So in anticipation ofthis situation coming your way, make out a form, with an agreement. You may aswell be loaded for bear, and fax it to the company as soon as possible. Youhave to protect yourself. There are a lot of companies out there who would lovefor you to wait and not pay you but needlessly hoping that you will fly. Thisis no Vegas; it is too much of a gamble to not get paid.

Just make out a form,with your name _____________ do agree to perform standby duties at a rate of________ per day for ___ days. The standby day should be the same as fly days.BUT if you are feeling vulnerable and giving, take it down a few notches towhat you are comfortable with. You have to get a relationship going with thevendor, but also feed yourself.

I used to grimace when I heard that. Now I embrace it. Our planet is in deep trouble and I do not want to contribute to a landfill. How can we on a corporate jet, help the environment?

Well, I know there is not a lot of space on a jet to recycle, but I have done it. But what I am talking about is, shopping and in and around the hangar. I do the stocking 2x per month, and I separate the cardboard boxes from the trash, and they are recycled. I buy local produce which cuts down on the long haul emissions of trucks. And fuel 4 to 17 times less.

If you spend locally, not using the chain stores, every dollar spent in your community adds about 2x as much value to the local economy as it would at a franchise. When I am not in the hangar, I turn the lights off. Before a flight, I wash all produce, but do not let the water run incessantly. The hot towels – I throw them in with the laundry, and reuse them after they are cleaned, for the big cleaning on the aircraft. I always bring my own cloth reusable bags to the supermarket and try to carpool to certain airports.

I opened a drawer in my kitchen and found I had 5 old cell phones there. I dropped them off at Verizon. There is always another use for the things we no longer use. All the cleaning products I use are green; Windex is a memory, 409 – long gone. As far as appliances go in the hangar, we have an energy star dishwasher that has an energy factor (the number of cycles per kilowatt hour of electricity of approximately 0.65)-40 percent better than federal standards.

The average fridge uses 14 percent of the hangars entire energy use. Pre 1993 models may be costing 140 dollars per year. It is best to have the freezer on the top, and the fridge on the bottom, and forgo the ice maker, it demands 10-20 percent more energy.

How many of us, at home, open the fridge, and stare for 5 minutes. This wastes energy and gets in humidity which takes more energy to cool the hot air I no longer use Ziplocs, more landfill, I use reusable plastic containers for storage. We have a Brita water filter for our sink for drinking water as well.

So if we are doing our part and use common sense, we will contribute to earth day every day.

I was in a restaurant in Midtown Manhattan last week. I could not tell the wait staff from the patrons. Their uniform was a black fitted Donna Karan tee and black tailored Calvin Klein pants. Half of New York wears this outfit, hairdressers, designers, gallery owners and all the rest of us who do not have time to color coordinate.

 

I was in the FBO in Teterboro, NJ, the week prior. I was in a basic black Ann Taylor suit, no wings, no name tag. I was mistaken for one of the customer service reps. I did not mind that. I just could not really be identified as aircrew.

 

I think it should be known what we do, even if it is a simple set of wings. I am not big on the sameness of scarf or necktie. I did attempt to wear the company scarf the other night, and after doing the bags, I had a big battle with a piece of hot silk around my neck. It was removed quickly.

 

I do not want to get political with this, 9/11 and going overseas. That would be another 2 pages. Between Catholic school, the military, and flying corporate, I have been wearing one for 30 years. I would not want a doctor walking out of surgery, wearing all black. If you are aircrew, you should dress the part.

So, I recently flew on a Challenger 604 out of Bedford MA. This aircraft flies 450 hours of charter and 150 hour part 91. This aircraft flies without a flight attendant for 91 trips so I showed up 2 hours prior to clear the aircraft of debris for an 8 passenger trip to Malaga, Spain.

I removed 23 baskets of various sizes, 15 silver trays, 43 small ramekins’, 40 plastic ware rollups from caterers, 30 sugar packets, 24 bottles of diet raspberry Snapple, 10 small cans of Clamato-juice (do they still sell that? and if so, where?), 13 bottles of Red Stripe Beer for Jamaica, 4 large bags of Beef Jerky (BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU WILL NEED THAT MUCH SALT), 12 cans of Mountain Dew, 10 waters with Arabic writing, 25 little jams, 17 extra mayonnaise. You get the drift.

Unless my passengers are going to eat some really weird condiments, there is no need for all of this. It becomes a hindrance, and sometimes a safety hazard. Much of what I mentioned was near safety equipment. It is not the pilots fault; it is just a general "gunk of stock" from many cabin crews, getting on and off. If the 91 owner does not use this stuff, it would be best to take it off and put it in the hangar. Trying to work around all this excess can only slow down a meal service and hinder your sanity and need for order.

Corporate Air Crew giving back to the community makes an awful lot of sense to me. It is three fold.

When we fly, I think we feel sort of unattached, without a lifeline. We are in a sense, care givers and service personnel and we have to anchor ourselves and reconnect to the city or town we live in when we get home. So why not go down to the soup kitchen and help out? How about fundraising for a cause you are deeply moved by? How about road races to raise donation for your favorite charity? Or of you are pet prone, help out at the animal shelter and bring your kids, they could certainly learn from giving as well. The senior center is always looking for rides to and from. Volunteering has helped me develop a deeper sense of family and what I am really made of. I have been a Big Sister, aid for Meals on Wheels, volunteer for Life Haven, a homeless shelter for women and children, the Partnership Project (1993-95); a Yale funded program for the mentally ill, and Goodwill clothing drive.

We usually have a lot of downtime especially if we are freelance, and the dead months like January, April and August. Volunteer organizations will take whatever time you have to give, they do know care what you wear, who you know, or how much money you have. They are down home nice people. So pick up the phone and make a difference. Stop whining that your life is going nowhere, that you are bored, that you are getting fat, that you do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend as well that you have credit card debt, you have a pimple, you have car trouble, you do not like your family, and your pax are rude and cruel. Make all that go away by SHOWING UP AND NOT GETTING PAID BY MONEY, BUT BY THE SPIRIT THAT WILL DEVELOPE WITHIN YOU.

You make new friends that will take you to another level. You cannot talk shop with them, you have to talk about real life issues and become oriented for others who need all things. Volunteering can take you to new heights and areas of the world. We as crewmembers, make excuses to put off classes we want to take, church that we want to attend, and seminars that can give us insight. We are always waiting for the next flight, in a constant on call holding pattern.

Make a difference. Pick up the phone. The world needs you now.